I SUCK!

New pics of the kids in their 4th of July duds!

Okay, okay. I know it has been a while since I blogged. The truth is, I have fallen off of the wagon. I have been anticipating a visit from TOM and it has been torture! I have found it so hard to diet! My body has been craving all sorts of awful foods and I have been obliging its every desire! It is so frustrating and it seems to be a never ending cycle! Why can't I just diet and get the weight off without having these days (sometimes weeks) where I overindulge and feel completely guilty?!

I have also been slacking at the gym! I have gone to about 4 days a week and I have really been getting lax with the cardio. However, I have kept up my weight training, no problem. I think a lot of my problem is that my gym partner has had to take a break due to a personal matter. Having a buddy to work out with (especially for cardio) really helps.

Now, don't get me wrong, I haven't gained, but just not lost either! I don't know why I feel like a failure. And when I get like this, I have a hard time pulling myself up and getting back on track! I am losing motivation! Quickly!

Well, we had our official weigh in and I was sorely disappointed! My results were only a 2 pound loss and a .5% loss of body fat! Now, every scale (home and at the gym) I have been taking the body fat measurements on says I have lost 3% body fat. The only thing I can attribute it to is that I had just come from a very hard 2-hour workout and maybe it made a difference on the scale?! As you all know I have been doing Body For Life for the preceeding portion of the Biggest Loser competition, but the weigh in made me realize that if I want to win the $$ I am going to have to do something else (just until the end of the competition), so I decided to finish it off with the Weight Watchers program. I WILL NOT win on the BFL and I want the cash bad! So, if I drop a few pounds before I start BFL again...what will it hurt?

The only thing I hate about the Biggest Loser is that she moved the last official weigh in until July 9. Not the morning of July 4! This sucks becuase I am sure I am not the only one who is going to be out of town or celebrating to some degree and I know I don't want to weigh in AFTER I have been on VACATION for a week! Uggh!

Well, I think that is all for now. Maybe in a week I will post some new photos, but I am just not feeling it right now. I don't want to see what I look like in a state of bloat in my bikini! ;) If i am telling the complete truth, I have been putting off the pics AND writing in the blog! I know I have been taking steps backward and I didn't want everyone to disappointed in me! I know some of you look to me for motivation, but sometimes I need it too! However, since making myself write this today, I feel better. Maybe it will be just what I needed to get on track. If nothing else, I feel better. And isn't that what it is all about?